Practical Steps to Building Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is vital in many aspects of our lives, but it's not always easy to be confident in yourself, particularly if you're naturally self-critical or if other people put you down. Not to worry, self-confidence is a personal skill that each of us can develop, and there are steps you can take to increase and maintain your confidence.
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence refers to simply believing in yourself. It is defined as an individual’s trust in their own abilities and judgments, or belief that they can successfully face daily challenges and demands. It's about valuing yourself and feeling worthy, regardless of any imperfections or what others may believe about you.
Why does self-confidence matter?
Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become more successful in both your personal and professional life. Self-confidence is important for our self-esteem and success, and can influence your motivation, mental well-being, and your overall quality of life. When you are confident in your abilities and capabilities, the more energised and motivated you are to take action and achieve your goals.
Let’s dive in to look at a few of the positive effects of learning to be more confident:
- Better performance: Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren't good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts. Ultimately, you'll perform better when you have more self-confidence.
- Healthier relationships: Having self-confidence not only impacts how you feel about yourself, but it helps you better understand others.
- Openness to try new things: When you believe in yourself, you're more willing to try new things. Whether you apply for a promotion or decide to change direction in your career, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
- Resilience: Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience or ability to bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.
You will often observe that confident people seem to be more at ease with themselves and their work. They invite trust and inspire confidence in others. These are all attractive characteristics to have. However, it's not always easy to be confident in yourself and it's an easy thing to lose when you feel like you've failed or made a mistake. That's why actively working on building up your self-confidence is so crucial, it's something you have to maintain. As cheesy as it sounds, you do have to believe in yourself!
You will find that confident people encourage confidence in others. For example, you may not be inclined to support a project that's pitched by someone who's visibly nervous, fumbling, or constantly apologising. On the other hand, you're persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, holds their head high, and answers questions with assurance.
How to build self-confidence?
Building self-confidence is a gradual process that involves adopting positive change. There are a range of practical steps you can take to build your confidence. Some may just be small changes to your frame of mind, whilst others may require more of your focus and attention. If you make changes to your lifestyle and form robust plans, these changes will then become familiar habits for the longer term.
- Reflect on what you’ve already achieved:. It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. But often we forget our achievements unless we dedicate time for reflection. Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life; whether it’s purchasing your first home, saving for a new car, getting a good mark on an exam or reaching your exercise goals. Keep the list close by and add to it whenever you do something you’re proud of. Your self-confidence will increase when you're able to say, "I can do this”, and here is the evidence. When you’re low in confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the awesome things you've achieved. Celebrating your successes, no matter how big or small, is a key step in reinforcing your positive self-image.
- Assess your strengths: What happens when you do things that you are good at? Your self-confidence starts to soar. Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognising what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build further confidence in your own abilities. A study found that believing in your ability to build on your personal strengths is related to life satisfaction levels. This starts with identifying what your strengths are, then working to make them stronger by engaging with them regularly. If you're good at a certain sport, for instance, make it a point to train or play at least once a week. If you're good at a particular task at work, try to do that task more often. Building on your strengths can also help you build your self-confidence.
- Goal setting: Setting and achieving goals and seeing how far you've come, are key ways to develop self-confidence. Use your Personal SWOT Analysis (identifying strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) to set goals that play to your strengths, minimise your weaknesses, and take advantage of your opportunities. When you've identified the goals, you want to achieve, plan out the steps you are going to take to achieve them. Goal setting can seem overwhelming at first, but if you break your larger goals down into smaller, manageable tasks they will seem more reachable. Remember to make your goals S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely). Achieving smaller goals provides a sense of accomplishment, as you can tick things off your list and boost your confidence.
- Positive self-talk: You’re never going to feel confident if you have negative commentary running through your mind telling you that you’re no good. Think about the little voice in your head (your inner critic) and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. E.g. "I can't do that!" or "I'm no good at that!" Start by keeping the promises you make to yourself and challenge yourself. Reframe negative beliefs with positive affirmations (short, positive statements that you can say on a regular basis to reprogram your mind in a positive light). These statements are particularly powerful if you tend to undermine your confidence with negative self-talk. A tip is to try and support and encourage yourself like you would your best friend – remember to cheer yourself on!
- Develop your knowledge and skills: Chances are that there are several skills you rely on to do your job well. When you use these skills successfully, what happens? You feel confident! These are the skills that you've worked on over time, and you're comfortable that you can use them to accomplish the task at hand. So, a good way to increase your self-confidence is to continue learning and seeking opportunities for additional training and development. The more knowledge and skills that you have to do your job, the more confident you’re going to feel, especially when challenges and out of the box situations crop up.
- Step out of your comfort zone: Embrace the mindset that mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for learning and growth. Gradually expose yourself to new challenges and remember that each successful experience in unfamiliar situations contributes to growth in confidence. Stop putting things off until you feel more self-confident. One of the best ways to build your confidence in these situations is to step out of your comfort zone and face your fears head on. If you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or think that you’re going to mess up, try anyway. A little self-doubt can sometimes even help improve your performance.
- Self-Care & Wellbeing: Research indicates that confidence is important for your health and psychological well-being. To develop and improve your self-confidence, aim to develop good habits and break the bad ones! This is particularly important when it comes to taking care of your physical wellbeing through regularly exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. It is challenging to feel good about yourself if you’re not taking care of your body. When you practice self-care, you know you're doing something positive for your mind and your body and you'll naturally feel more confident as a result.
- Here are some self-care practices you may wish to embed into your lifestyle to improve your self-confidence:
Diet: Healthy eating comes with many benefits, including higher levels of confidence and self-esteem. When you fuel your body with nutrient-dense foods, you feel healthier, stronger, and more energized, which can result in feeling better about yourself.
Exercise: Studies consistently show that physical exercise boosts self-confidence. Exercise isn’t just about getting in shape; it’s also an effective confidence booster. When you work out, your brain releases natural mood-lifters called endorphins, turning down stress and elevating your spirits. Simultaneously, conquering physical challenges through exercise fosters self-assurance and belief in yourself.
Meditation: More than just a relaxation practice, meditation can help boost self-confidence in several ways. It teaches you to stop negative self-talk and disconnect from unhelpful mental chatter interfering with your confidence.
Sleep: Skimping on sleep can take a toll on your emotions. Good sleep has been linked with positive personality traits, including optimism and self-esteem.
Therefore, in conclusion, when you're self-confident, you trust your own judgment and abilities, and have a strong sense of self-worth and self-belief. You can take immediate steps to project greater self-confidence and address the factors that dent it. You can then develop these short-term strategies into ways to build and maintain self-confidence in the future. Developing good habits, reviewing past achievements, and setting yourself targeted goals will improve your self-esteem, and build and maintain your confidence for the long term.
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